We like to think of our company as the model for the Isometric Principles Of Business. Due in part to the competing (though identical) brands of product that we produce, the two halves of our company are constantly striving to gain the advantage over the other. This competition assuredly does nothing but Isometrically strengthen the company as a whole. Unfortunately there are a great many sections of the company that support both brands equally. These departments have no opposite against which to compete. How, may you ask, do these departments stay strong and vital? The answer is to NEVER allow the employees within these departments to become too comfortable or sedentary. At any given time there must be Change For The Sake Of Change.
This Change should come at, what seems to the employees involved, the most inconvenient of times. What the employees can never be allowed to understand is that the Change is always well-timed and purposeful. They must be given a reason for the change but can never know the true reason. By their very nature, employees are like sheep or cattle. They are stupid and must be herded and led around by the noses. They must also always be watched for signs of inquisitiveness and complacency.
Our most recent bout with Change came just the other day. Due to the worsening economic conditions there have been many proposals on how to cut costs and save money. What should be told to the employees is that the most obvious solution is to populate usable office space as densely as possible. This will leave some areas unused and unneeded whereas they can then be sealed off. Upon sealing off these areas they will no longer require electricity for lights, heat or air conditioning.
The employees must be convinced that the pennies saved during the shut down of unused office areas will definitely make an impact on the bottom line if those areas remain closed long enough. There will invariably be some employees who speculate that the pennies saved by shutting these areas down will take years to offset the cost of the time involved in moving other employees around. Any employee suspected of this type of speculation must be labeled an Independent Thinker. ITs should be tracked and watched as they will often incite others to think for themselves, which should be avoided at all costs. These same employees, however, must never know or be allowed to deduce the true reasons for the consolidation.
True Reason #1: The Herd Animal – As was mentioned earlier, employees are very similar to sheep and cattle. The more closely they are packed into an area, the better and harder they work. The close quarters also lend just enough distraction to alleviate the fear that they will think too much for themselves while not distracting them too much from what they believe are their vital duties.
True Reason #2: Fear Of Dismissal – Employees who remain in one physical location too long may develop a Sense Of Permanence. This SOP can lead to the realization that their seniority or skills may protect them against mass layoffs (the Isometric Business equivalent to cullings in the animal world). By shutting down some office areas, relocating those employees and shuffling other employees around you eliminate, or at the very least, lower their SOP. The lower an employee’s SOP, the harder they are willing to work to maintain their job.
What this all amounts to is keeping your workers on their toes. It is a well-known fact that employees work better when under pressure. As with canning vegetables, it is important to know how long to keep the pressure on and when to relieve it. Employees, like cattle, are much more comfortable in close quarters. You just have to be careful not to spook them. One good backfire and you’ve got yourself a stampede. Just remember, best way to stop a stampede is to kill the cow that started it.
Until next time, keep the comments coming. Also, feel free to share your Isometric Principles as comments to this blog or feel free to email us at Isometric.Principles.Of.Business@gmail.com. condron.us
I work in one of the departments tasked with supporting both brands equally. Our goal is to without question provide level support to both brands even when they are competing against each other in such a way that it can only reduce the overall profit of the company. We are told that “at least we will get the business in either case”. Well let me tell you, they are giving me the business alright.
Not only are we required to be sheeplike in our goal of blindly supporting isometric behavior, but we are also encouraged to work to levels of mediocrity. Why you ask? Because an employee who senses a greater worth or seeks higher challenge can only be considered an independent thinker. They might then expect higher compensation or career advancement. By letting the employee know that his/her work is at best considered average, regardless of performance, this spirit of the animal is broken. Thereby achieving the ultimate goal of mediocrity and ultimately isometric behavior.
After 13 years in said company, I have absolutely no desire to do anything but receive a paycheck each month and survive the next round of herd thinning. Congratulations said company, job well done.
[…] 2, 2009 by isometricprinciplesofbusiness As we have stated previously employees, like sheep, must be led where you want them to go. Left unchecked, they will only […]